I like to take things easy, like to travel light without too much baggage yet sometimes things get too complicated. I don't like being sad or feeling low and it bothers me a lot if and when I am. I've always been a happy sort of person, one who takes things in her stride and moves on. But I guess life gets the best of us at times.

Today is one such day. Sunil's away for a few days and even at the risk of sounding very immature and foolish I'd like to put it on record here that I miss him a lot. I am not someone who likes to be away from people I love, moreso if that person happens to be my lifeline. And I feel nothing wrong in saying that I don't like to be without him and that is something that constantly weighs on my mind...Add to that the various things that kept going wrong yesterday. It was one helluva day and boy, was I glad when at last it got over! I was faring much better today but then something happened that shook me to the core...

I have a child in the play group who's not even two and a half. Her parents are too busy with their professional committments and the poor child is left at the mercy of a maid. Over a few days, we'd been noticing that she's just not responding to/ getting involved in any activity that's being done in school. It was bothering us a lot and so it was only natural that when her mother came to pick her up today (which she rarely does), I told her that if possible she should try and spend some one to one time with the kid so that there can be some follow up at home for what is being done on school. I might add here that about a fortnight back, the mother had expressed concern that the child can't even rote count to 5 (which I personally feel is no big deal, she's too young). Now, this was dispersal time and the child was holding her bag in her hands. She mindlessly started nibbling at the bag and even as I was talking to the lady, she called the child to her and slapped her hard on the face! The child stumbled and fell down on the floor and started howling...For a couple of seconds I was just so shocked I couldn't react! Even then I thought it happened by mistake and I said "yeh toh zyada zor se lag gaya isey" as I bent down to pick up the child. It was only when I saw the mother's face that I realised to my horror that she'd actually meant to hit her! OMG! After getting up, the crying child started pulling on her mother's dress; she obviously wanted to be pacified but the mother in turn told her' "tumhe pata hai na humne kyun maara hai? Ab chalo kaan pakdo aur sorry bolo". I just had to cut her short here. I told her to stop it because we don't follow this system of humiliating kids by asking them to catch their ears in front of everybody and all that. Some people simply don't know when they are wrong but the worst of all are those who insist that they are right all the time. Here I was talking to one person who belonged to the latter category. Instead of conceding that what she had just done was wrong, she told me to make the child stand in a corner and to tell her that she's under punishment. I refused to do so. By then other parents had started arriving and I had to pull myself away but then I saw the child actually catching her ears and a gratifying smile on the mother's face. How I controlled my temper only I know. People close to me know how absolutely I hate the use of physical violence against children and to have somebody do so in front of my eyes, in my own school...

The only thing that stopped me was sheer courtesy and the fact that Sunil's not here and I didn't want to create a scene in front of all the children and parents. Anyway, I asked her to sit down and then spoke to her at length about the futility of the whole exercise. I don't know if it'll make any difference to her but at least now that I've expresed my displeasure, she won't do it front of me ever again. I don't know how that'll help the child but it's the least I could do.

That brings me to a burning question- why do we as parents deliberately hurt our children, our sensitive, defenceless, helpless children? What do we get out of the whole unpleasantness? And what on earth makes us think that we're actually helping them and doing them a favour...I don't know. This is one question that totally stumps me everytime I think about it. Aren't we guilty of physically or emotionally abusing our own children as much as anybody else who'd do so? I'm just too drained to go on writing about this now. Guess I'll leave it at this and end this with a prayer:

The Gift of a Child

Dear God, I thank You for the gift of this child to raise, this life to share, this mind to help mold, this body to nurture, and this spirit to enrich. Let me never betray this child's trust, dampen this child's hope, or discourage this child's dreams. Help me, dear God, to help this precious child become all You mean him to be. Let Your grace and love fall on him like gentle breezes and give him inner strength and peace and patience for the journey ahead.

Amen.